Terminus
by Gryffindor's Goddess
Summary: With their final year at Hogwarts coming to an end, the tension has between Lily and Sirius has risen to an entirely new level. Both know they must stop, but will they be able to?  Oneshot.


**Disclaimer: It all belongs to Jo. **

The fire roared spitting out the occasional spark, its crackling the only sound that could be heard throughout the Gryffindor common room. An odd, icy slush fell from the sky, not snow nor ice, or even water. "Well?" A tall boy with dark, silky hair asked. His grey eyes were cold and sharp, and didn't once flicker to the girl beside him. He seemed determined to keep his gaze planted firmly on the fire before him.

If someone were to walk in at that moment, they wouldn't suspect the two were friends. Both the grey-eyed boy and the small, pale girl beside him sat at opposite ends of the couch, every ounce of body language suggesting they wished to be elsewhere. Their meeting seemed overly formal for two students who had known each other for so long.

"It was one time, Sirius," The girl said, her tone hushed, "It meant-"

"Nothing?" The boy growled. The girl was silenced. She couldn't pretend that was true, no matter how much she wanted to believe it. Sirius sighed. He let his back fall into the couch, his head tipped back to the ceiling. Yes, it had been one time, but really things had gone on for much longer than that. There had always been something between them, from when they first stepped on the train their very first year, there had been something, not quite a spark, but something close…

"I was your first, wasn't I?"

"Don't." The girl said sharply. Her dark red hair hung limp in front of hair pale face, "Don't." She repeated softly.

"Lily," The dark-haired boy sighed. Sirius would say he never meant for things to turn out this way, that he'd never meant her any harm, but would that truly be honest? What had been his motive for all those years? Had every move he'd made, no matter how subtle, not been apart of some master plot?

"I'm going to tell him," Lily said suddenly, a new fierceness in her voice, "Sirius, he has to know."

For the first time that night, Sirius laughed. "Don't kid yourself, Evans. You think I don't know you better that that? James will never find out. You wouldn't do that to him. You couldn't."

Lily opened her mouth to protest, her brow crinkled in anger, but stopped. She took a breath, but then turned away. "I do love him. More than I've ever loved you."

Sirius paused. This wasn't news to him. He'd known for a long time. "But you do love me. No matter what happens, you can't deny that to me."

Lily sighed, and, for the first and only time that night, looked Sirius straight on. She didn't know what attracted her to him. James was sweeter, funnier, and, if you dug deep enough, truly a good person. And what was Sirius Black if not selfish, cruel, and manipulative? Sometimes Lily loathed him more than anyone she'd ever met. More than she ever had hated James. And yet, it was Sirius she always came back to, no matter what. "It doesn't matter what I say. You'll believe what you want to." The redhead replied coolly, but she couldn't keep the tinge of sadness out of her voice, the tiny bit that was just enough to give her away. "We're too old for this, you know," Lily said when Sirius didn't reply, "We graduate in a few months. You didn't think we'd continue this into our real lives, did you?"

"Who knows," Sirius replied bitterly, "Who knows where we'll be? We may never see each other again."

This could not be truer. It was obvious to both Lily and Sirius that times were quickly changing. There was talk of a secret army, of a war. Predicting where they would be once school ended was near impossible.

"Promise me something," Came Sirius suddenly, "Promise me that you'll be happy with him. That you're not settling."

Lily paused. "No," She said finally, "Not even close." And it was true.

Sirius nodded. There was not much else he could say. Lily and James were everybody's favorite couple. James was beyond happy. And if Lily said she was too… Well, then there was not much more he could do. "You're not going to tell him."

Lily stiffened. Her bright green eyes narrowed. "Of course I'm going to tell him. He has to know! You-"

"_You _wouldn't do that to him. And neither would I. James is better off not knowing."

Lily didn't object. She too sunk back into her the couch. She hated herself for what she'd done, and she hated Sirius for making her want to. "Never again," She breathed.

"I-" Sirius let his voice trail off.

"You what?" Lily asked, "What, Sirius?"

The grey-eyed boy took a deep breath. "We should stay away from each other. We- I won't be able to control myself if we don't. I understand we'll have to pretend like nothing going on around James, but how long have we been doing that?"

Lily stared at Sirius. She'd known him for so long. He'd always been her secret friend, and after Severus had betrayed her, maybe even her best friend. They'd always meet in the common room after everyone else had gone asleep, telling each other things they never thought would dare to escape their lips. She would never know why Sirius picked her of all people to hold this position in his life. And then there was how different he'd acted when they weren't alone. In front of his friends he mocked her to no end, at times almost to tears. Now that she was older, Lily understood. He hated that she knew so much, more than anyone ever should about him, but he couldn't stop himself from confiding in her. And Lily couldn't help but do the same. No matter what, she would always love Sirius a little. A little, but not how she loved James, nothing could compare to that. Lily had never felt anything like what she felt for James. She wouldn't change a thing about him. Lily loved James. There was no way around it. "I'm going to miss you," Lily replied softly.

Sirius smiled ruefully. "And I you, love."

Before she had time to think about what she was doing, Lily shifted towards Sirius and pulled him into a hug. Softly, Sirius pressed his lips against hers, knowing this would be the last time. Without being able to look Sirius in the eye, Lily drew back. She quickly climbed the steps to her dormitory, not once looking back. It was over.

Sirius rested his elbows on his knees, keeping his head held in his hands. He would never meet another girl like Lily. That he knew. The boy stared into the fire, watching as it slowly died out. He'd known the day would come. He just hadn't been ready. Sirius took a long, shuddering breath. He never would have been ready...

A/N Thanks for reading! It's been about, oh, forever, since I've posted anything new, and I must tell you, it feels incredible. Thanks again for stopping by and please review!


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